okay i went back to my old template. its more easier to read and stuff. and i dunno i jus like it simple. finally one that doesnt hafta be all html fancy like all my other stuff. yes well enough about that.
ive been reading davey's [uglyd0g.diaryland.com] diary from the beginning. i didnt know half the stuff i knew now. well i knew i just never remembered. i didnt know he was so anti-war and i never knew he was into magic [[card game]] and stuff. i was reading about all his past "relationships/ likings" or whatever. and the whole time i was happy. i mean not that he was hurt and stuff just that that happened. i mean i dont want him to suffer..ever..but if that never happened we wouldnt be together. and i love that we're together and hopefully we will be for a long time. if not forever =)
rawr. im aggitated [sp?] i wish people wouldnt jump to conclusions. that is one thing i absolutely hate. give a person time to explain themselves dont go out telling everyone what you think happened when you really have no fuckin clue. and dont go talking to people about it and believing what they say. "they" are not the person your blabbing on and on about. yea this is directed to someone not in a "rawr i hate you and i hope you die" kinda sense but the "rawr i hate the way your acting get a clue" kinda sense. kinda harsh but so is life get over it.
i swear im getting my "feeling" back or whatevah. for more than a month now ive felt so completely numb. to everything. honestly and i havent told anyone about this. and since no one reads this anyways im jus gonna tell you random reader. its like everytime someone said something hurtful to me it wouldnt phase me cuz i knew i was lower than what they were saying i was. and when people would complement me or say something nice i would just think that they were saying it because they were to nice to say what they really thought of me or tell me to my face what i really was. a failure. and with everything thats been going on i realize i am one. and im okay with that. im prolly gonna be all depressed again soon anyways :/ hmm...
speaking of depression. i have my 1st psychiatrist appointment monday at 11. [[note: i am not one insy winsy bit excited. and im just going to sit there and stare at the wall. saying nothing.]] yes well uhm yea
i think this entry is long enough and im gonna try to type big lengthy entries just because it makes me feel better and yea. =P but im gonna go cuz all you wonderful readers [[heh]] are falling asleep. so yea lata gata.
