i am never really ever certain what the status is on me and dave's relationship.
i just know that last night was amazing at amber's house.
it was definitely one of my happiest moments.
if only it was a friday night not a saturday night.
also, if only we didn't hit a friggin' tree.
as soon as a disaster comes along i feel like i am the one who gets the blame.
it's almost as if i am trained to say i'm sorry even if i wasn't even there.
i cried a lot because dave was being pretty hateful and i was hurting and scared.
he admits that he takes things out on other people when he is mad.
except i am the only one who is ever around him.

i'm still pretty sad about it because i don't think that dave is the same dave at ALL.
i miss the dave that would care about me before objects and would give me cute little heart pins and tell me that everything will be okay when i am in the ER.
everything went back to his car and i did feel like he was really selfish today.

dave's mom apologized and everytime she does i get confused.
dave didn't though. not a nonforced one.

i am gonna save up and pay to repair his car.

i wish that i could be better for him.
i think this treatment is because i am a horrible gf.
i just dont know what i am suppose to do.

i am going to sleep now. gah is my head and back hurting. gr..