i've come to the conclusion that me and dave will never be the same.
we used to hold hands and be so close to eachother that people would almost assume that we had an operation to get us stuck that way.
surprisingly, i never got tired of that.
i loved our closeness and how he was so in love that he was never afraid to show it.
i get all sad when he walks in front of me whenever we are going some place and doesn't want to hold my hand.
i miss the old us desperately but i assume that we are the way that we are because of something that i have done.

we just got through doing it btw so it's not like i am saying this because we just got into an argument. haha

me and dave are going to this show with dan and dave's dad tomorrow.
i am so excited yet nervous.
metal shows make me anxious.
i am afraid that i will get really injured.
i am not a hardcore kid by any means and with good reason.
i am one tiny kid who enjoys the music not the violence.
hopefully everyone there will see that.

i am probably going to make a new journal that is secret.
where? i have no idea but i know that i wont be making the layout for it because i dont have photoshop anywhere anymore. :[
i kinda miss the days when i would make stuff for my "clique" on melo.
i got out of melo so fast it's crazy.
it was my myspace and now it's not.
i wonder if there is a bigger and better journal out there.

gah. i hate codes.
oh and i hate identity theft too.
i am a victim of identity theft.
what.the.fuck.
it makes no sense because i just turned 18.
dave has been the opposite of supportive.
his mom found out and was like "all of this stuff happens to her and i just want you to realize that you will have to deal with this if you stay with her.."
of course, he agreed with her which made me break down right there.
i am constantly in fear of him breaking up with me.
i knew from the start that he deserved better and i know that i am still correct.
i hope that dave doesn't go to disney world for spring break because i wanted to go with him so badly.
i know that his mom would never let me go but i had a dream that she did.
i just want to go out with just me and him and do something other than going to the mall.
i wish that dave would shock me and take me somewhere exciting and crazy.

i remember the plan i had for our 2 1/2 years.
i was going to pay for a cabin in gatlinburg for a night so we could just lay around all over the place without clothes on.
haha. yeah. i am one crazy kid.
dave would never go for it.
if i hadnt had some plans for our 2 1/2 years we would have done nothing.
our monthlyversaries [lol] hasn't meant anything to him in a while.
i miss the old dave. :/

i love it when he holds my hand and kisses me and stuff.
he only does that when we are alone.
how sad. :[

i hate colds. ick.
time to make a new journal maybe.